Self Esteem & Success
Based Christianity
RELATED MINISTRY
LOVERS OF PLEASURE
In the last days Paul says that people will prefer entertainment to God, being “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (2 Tim 3:1-5).
Some churches have changed into religious entertainment centres. Church members are viewed as consumers, and consumers must be given what they want. What they want is to be entertained so God must be presented as a ‘consumer-friendly’ God. Don’t talk about His holiness, wrath and justice; talk exclusively of His love. Present God as a nice old man, who is always there to help you and make you happy. Much of today’s worship is oriented to the idea of entertainment. The people must have a good time or they will leave the church and go to one which has a better band, a funnier preacher, a bigger stage, and better lighting effects.
Solomon found that seeking after pleasure is futile (Eccl 2:1-11). It cannot bring true joy, because the only thing in life truly worthwhile is serving God (Eccl 12:13-14). Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is the most important pursuit in life. One problem with the hedonistic lifestyle is that it enslaves you. Paul tells Titus:
At
one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds
of passions and pleasures. (Titus 3:3)
Jesus warns that pleasure-seeking can make you unfruitful:
“…as
they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures,
and they do not mature.” (Luke 8:14)
SUCCESS-BASED
CHRISTIANITY
A typical book title by today’s televangelists might be “Releasing Your Potential: Exposing the Hidden You” or “God Has a Plan for Your Success”. By ‘success’, they’re normally not referring to overcoming sin or being a good soul-winner either, but being healthy and wealthy. The following excerpt from a ‘Christian’ website sounds more like something you’d expect from a motivational speaker. Hopefully you can see the difference between this and Biblical Christianity.
“The
SuccessChurch is based on Christ’s Divine Model of Living, High Achieving, and
Winning in life. God wants each of us to be a witness for Him, but a witness
utilizing our Success in life from Him to bring Him Glory, and to Succeed
through His Power, not ours… We have been led to spread the message that we
serve a God of Divine, Unlimited Blessings, and Total, Overflowing,
Ever-Enlarging, Multiplying Fullness. There is NO Emptiness of Substance with
God, and thusly we believe there should not be Emptiness in any aspect of our
lives, including relationships, careers, family, health, and finances and Godly
Success. We believe that constant struggle in life is a choice, not a destiny.
God’s Overflowing Wealth and the Riches of His Kingdom that He Promises in His
Word are available today to His children, as part of our inheritance under the
New Covenant of His Precious Blood.” [1]
We have an emphasis on “celebrity Christians”. A fuss is made of celebrities who are professing Christians, because people like to associate themselves with success. Yet James writes:
My
brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show
favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine
clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special
attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for
you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my
feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil
thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in
the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised
those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are
exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they
not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?
(James 2:1-7)
A modern Christian website says we must be “a witness utilizing our Success in life from Him to bring Him Glory”. [2] Paul tells us to “boast in the Lord” and not of our own success (which the Corinthians clearly didn’t have) but to boast in the Lord.
1
Cor 1:26-31 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of
you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of
noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly
things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to
nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because
of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that
is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written:
“Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”
Jesus didn’t say that people would know we are Christians by our success, but by our love for others:
“By
this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
(John 13:35)
THE SELF-ESTEEM GOSPEL
Paul speaks of people in the last days being pre-occupied with having a positive self-image (lovers of themselves):
“People
will be lovers of themselves… boastful, proud…, conceited…” (2 Tim 3:1-5)
This preoccupation with self is the result of the godless psychology which has crept into Christian theology and counseling. A typical Christian psychologist writes: [3]
“Our
attitude toward ourselves—our self-concept or our self-image—is one of the most
important things we possess. Our self-concept is the source of our personal
happiness or lack of it. It establishes the boundaries of our accomplishment
and defines the limits of our fulfilment. If we think little of ourselves, we
either accomplish little or drive ourselves unmercifully to disprove our 
negative
self-evaluation. If we think positively about ourselves, we are free to achieve
our true potential.”
In the counseling section of Christian bookstore you might see these titles (Remember “People will be lovers of themselves”):
Love
Yourself [4]
The
Art of Learning to Love Yourself [5]
Loving
Yourselves, Celebrate Yourself, You’re Someone Special [6]
Self
Esteem: You’re Better than You Think, Self-Esteem: The New Reformation [7]
Don’t
Blame It All on Adam, Self-Love: The Dynamic Force of Success [8]
The
Christian Looks at Himself [9]
Building
a Child’s Self Esteem, Your Better Self, Improving Your Self-Image [10]
Self-esteem is based on Self-Image Psychology which derives
from that branch of modern psychology called Humanistic Psychology.
Self-Esteem, Self-Image, Self-Worth, Self-Love are not from God’s Word, the
Bible, and are not found in the writings of historical Christianity… These
concepts and their 
associated terms are not found
within the
Ironically a secular psychologist concludes the following:
Baumeister
[12]
has found that people with high self-esteem tend to have low self-control. His
excellent research lays the self-esteem myth to waste. Criminals, he has
discovered, do not suffer from low self-esteem. They are not acting out their
outrage at being oppressed, suppressed and abused. They are dangerous because
they are narcissists. They believe that what they want, they deserve to have,
and the ends justify the means. [13]
Professor Jean Twenge of
Narcissism describes the trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or
ego.
After
analyzing 16,475 college students over a span of more than 24 years, a group of
researchers concluded that today’s collegians are far more narcissistic than
previous generations. By 2006, two-thirds of all students had above-average
scores on a standardized inventory test that indicated various degrees of self-centeredness—a 30% increase since 1982. [15]
Twenge
and her researchers traced the upsurge in narcissism to what they call the
“self-esteem movement” that sprang up in the 1980s. They believe the
effort to build self-confidence has gone too far, and that parental
permissiveness is part of the problem. In her book Generation Me: Why Today’s
Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More Miserable
Than Ever Before, Twenge asserts that narcissists tend to lack empathy, react
aggressively to criticism and favor self-promotion over helping others. They
are also more likely to commit infidelities in their personal relationships, be
emotionally cold, lie without remorse, and exhibit violent behavior. [16]
Low Self-esteem: OT examples
Clearly many godly men in the Bible could have benefited from the modern teaching on self-esteem and positive confession:
Agur:
“I am the most ignorant of men” (Prov 30:2).
Mephibosheth: “What is
your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?” (2 Sam 9:8)
Abraham:
“I am nothing but dust and ashes” (Gen 18:27).
Jacob:
“I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your
servant.” (Gen 32:10)
Leah:
“I am not loved” (Gen 29:33).
Moses:
“I have never been eloquent… I am slow of speech and tongue.” (Ex 4:10)
Gideon:
“…how can I save
Saul
(when he was still righteous): “But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest
tribe of
Isaiah:
“I am a man of unclean lips” (Isaiah 6:5)
The following list from David is not exhaustive:
“But
I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men…” (Ps 22:6).
“I
am lowly and despised” (Ps 119:141).
“I
am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends— those who
see me on the street flee from me” (Ps 31:9).
“All
day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse”
(Ps 102:8).
“If
we say it long enough eventually were going to reap a harvest. We’re going to
get exactly what we’re saying.”
“You
can change your world by changing your words…”
Here are David’s ‘positive confessions’:
“I
am poor and needy” (Ps 40:17, 70:5, 86:1, 109:22).
“I
am faint… I am worn out” (Ps 6:2,6).
“I
am lonely and afflicted” (Ps 25:16), “I am about to fall” (Ps 38:17).
“My
thoughts trouble me and I am distraught” (Ps 55:2).
“I
am the song of the drunkards…I am scorned, disgraced and shamed… I am in pain
and distress” (Ps 69:12,19,29).
Health & wealth theology says that David will get what
he is saying. David says “Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God.
You are my help and my deliverer; O LORD, do not delay.” (Ps 70:5) and becomes
Low Self-esteem: NT
examples
And in the NT:
John
the Baptist: “… he is coming after me, whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.”
(Acts 13:25)
Peter:
“Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” (Lk 5:8)
The
Prodigal: “I am no longer worthy to be called your son” (Lk 15:19).
And Paul says of himself:
“For
I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an
apostle…” (1 Cor 15:9)
“Christ
Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” (1 Tim 1:15)
“What
a wretched man I am!” (Rom 7:24)
“I
am less than the least of all God’s people” (Eph 3:8).
High Self-esteem: Biblical examples
Some however clearly understood the value of high self-esteem. Look at this positive confession and note the high self-esteem and assertiveness:
Satan
says: “I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the
sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself
like the Most High.” (Isaiah 14:13-14)
But God says: “How you have fallen from heaven, O morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!” (Isaiah 14:12, see also Rev 12:7-9) So the Bible does not teach that what you say you get, provided you are very positive. David says “I am poor” and becomes a king; Satan says “I will ascend to heaven” and gets thrown out of heaven down to earth.
Here’s another positive
person with high self-esteem:
The
Pharisee: “God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers,
adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a
tenth of all I get.” (Luke 18:11-12)
In contrast, Jesus tells us of a man with low self-esteem:
“But
the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but
beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ (Luke 18:13)
Jesus says of the tax collector:
“I
tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God.
For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself
will be exalted.” (Luke 18:14)
And the Babylonian harlot says:
“I
sit as queen; I am not a widow, and I will never mourn.” (Rev 18:7)
Despite her positive confession, God says of her:
“She
will be consumed by fire, for mighty is the Lord God who judges her.” (Rev
18:8)
Then the positive confession by the Laodiceans:
“I
am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.”
Jesus says:
“you
do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” (Rev
3:17)
Paul writes:
“Do
not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself
with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given
you.” (Rom 12:3)
And who can forget Jesus’ words in his Sermon On The Mount:
“Blessed
are the meek” (Matt 5:5) ?
Jesus also said:
“So
you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, “We
are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.” (Luke 17:10)
We say, “A new command I give you: Love yourself as I have loved you.”
Jesus said:
“A
new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love
one another.” (John 13: 34)
Jesus didn’t command us to love ourselves, because we already do.
You might say, “But I really have low self-esteem. I hate myself. When I look in the mirror I hate the way I look; I’m ugly”. If you really hated yourself, you would be glad that you were ugly, so that people could have a reason to hate you more.
“No,
the problem is, you love yourself and you want to look better than you do, you
want people to treat you with more respect than they do, and the only reason
you are upset by the way people treat you is because you love yourself and you
think you deserve more than they are giving you.” [17]
And some say “I hate myself so much, I’m going to kill myself”. Even suicide is not motivated by self-hate, but by self-pity. A person in a suicidal state of mind cares more about their own state of depression, than by the misery and hurt they cause to others (especially children) by killing themselves. Hitler had very high self-esteem and he killed himself.
I hope that the evangelical church is listening, especially
those who have taught that Jesus advised us to love ourselves first, so that we
could then love our neighbors.
Twenty
centuries ago, the apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians (5:29),
“no man hates himself–no way, man–he pampers himself!” (personal paraphrase).
When we place that text alongside Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as you
love yourself,” (properly exegeting the term, “as”), the Scriptures say to us,
“You love yourself plenty. As a matter of fact, you need no training in this.
As a matter of matter of fact, you love yourself too much. Therefore, how about
taking the energy you’re pouring into yourself and donating it toward someone
else.” Contrast this meaning to the (unintentional) harmful ways of the
self-esteem movement, which have falsely convinced us that our greatest problem
is the lack of self-love, rather than the presence of it. [18]
Self-esteem: Biblical perspective
DEFINITION OF ‘HUMBLE’:
1) not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive
2) reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission [19]
Scripture says:
Matt
23:12 For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself
will be exalted.
Eph 4:2 Be completely
humble and gentle…
Phil
2:3-8 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility
consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to
your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should
be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who… made himself nothing, taking the very
nature of a servant… he humbled himself…
Luke
1:46-52 And Mary said, “… my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been
mindful of the humble state of his servant… He has brought down rulers from
their thrones but has lifted up the humble.”
1
Pet 3:8 … be compassionate and humble.
Matt
18:4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the
kingdom of heaven.
James
4:6-10 God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble… Humble yourselves
before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
1
Pet 5:5-6 All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another…
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up
in due time.
THE REAL PROBLEM
The problem with the world is not lack of self-esteem but the opposite – pride and failure to take responsibility for our sin!
R.A. Torrey records the following story related by the
“I
was invited one day, some years ago, to visit and preach in the Tombs prison,
I looked into the window, and said, ‘How is it with you here?’
‘O chaplain, we do not want you to have a bad idea of us.’
I said to myself, ‘There is no one here to be saved, for there is no one lost.’
And I got away as quick as I could. I went to another cell. There were 3 or 4 men
in there; and I said, ‘How is it with you here?’
‘Well, stranger, we will tell you. We got into bad company, and the men that
did the deed got clear and we got caught.’
I said to myself ‘There is no one here for Christ to save, for there is no one
lost.’ ”
And I went along to the next cell; and I said, ‘Well, my friends, how is it
with you?’
One of them said, ‘A false witness went to court and swore a lie upon me.’
He was perfectly innocent, and ought not to be there.
I went on to the next cell, looked in, and said, ‘Well, my friends, how is it
with you?’
They were innocent, thank God! But the man that did the deed looked very much
like them. The people thought they were the men, and they got caught. They were
perfectly innocent. They were not the men.
I went along to the next cell. But no sooner did I ask the same question than
they said they had not had their trial. They were going to have it that week,
and they would be out on next Sunday. And so I went on. I never found so many
innocent men. They were all innocent. I found a great many innocent men under
lock and key, and they were all trying to justify themselves. There was no one
guilty but the constables, the justices, or magistrates. They were the guilty
ones.
I got discouraged. I thought I would give it up; but I kept on, and I found one
man in a cell alone. He had his elbows on his knees, and had his head buried in
his hands. As I looked in, I could see the streams of tears running down upon
his cheeks. They were the first tears I had seen. It did me good to look at
them. I said, ‘My friend, how is it with you here?’
He looked up. It was a look of remorse and despair. He said, ‘0, sir, my sins
are more than I can bear.’
‘Thank God for that!’
said
‘Ain’t you the man that’s been preaching to us?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘And yet I thought you said you was a friend to the prisoner; and you are glad
that my sins are more than I can bear?’
‘Yes.’
‘Yes? Then you are a queer kind of friend. How is it that you are glad my sins
are more than I can bear?’
‘I am glad that they are more than you can bear. For if they are more than you
can bear, you can cast them on the Lord Jesus.’
‘He will not bear my sins. Why I am the worst man living today.’
And he began enumerating his sins, and what a load it was for him to bear. It
was refreshing to stand there and hear him tell me. It was the Lord Jesus that
had got into that cell and into that man's heart, and I told him so; then I
told him to pray to God to forgive him and to take away his sin. He thought God
would never forgive such a sinner as he was.
I told him: ‘You can get all those sins, multiplied by ten thousand, forgiven;
because you have committed probably ten thousand more sins than you have
thought of. You can sum them all up, and write underneath, “The blood of Jesus
Christ, his Son, cleanseth from all sin.” ’ And I stood there and preached the
Gospel to that thirsty soul. He seemed to drink it in.
I said, ‘Let us get down here and pray.’
And we did, he inside and I outside. And after I got through prayer I said, ‘My
friend, now you pray.’
‘I pray! It would be blasphemy for me to pray -- for a wretch like me to call
upon God.’
I said to him, ‘Call upon God. Ask for mercy. That’s what you want. Ask him to
have mercy upon you.’
The poor wretch could not lift his eyes towards heaven. He knelt down on the
pavement, and all he could say was, ‘God be merciful to me, a vile wretch!’
After his prayer I put my hand through the window in the door. He got hold of
it and shook it, and a hot tear fell on my hand. That tear seemed to burn into
my very soul. I said ‘I am going to the hotel between nine and twelve o’clock.
I want you to join in prayer, and make up your mind that you will not sleep
tonight till you know.’
That night I got much interested in prayer for the man. My heart was so
overborne that I could not go back to
He pressed my hand and shook it, and said: ‘I believe I am the happiest man in
the whole city of
He said, when he prayed the Lord Jesus heard his prayer… My dear friend, can
you tell me why it was that God came into that prison, and passed by cell after
cell, and set that one captive free? It was because he took his place as a poor
lost sinner, and asked for mercy. The moment sinners do that and cry for mercy,
they will get it.”